I know you've never done this, but...

When we renovated part of our home almost two years ago, we decided to put solid doors on the bedrooms. We hoped the solid doors would help cut down some of the sound in a very busy part of our home. Honestly, I'm not sure if the doors (or the carpet) have helped with the noise. (Perhaps we should have invested in insulating the kids rather than the rooms.) But that's not the point. 

Solid doors are heavy. Very. Heavy. But when you buy them, they come with hinges and screws that are identical to hollow doors. So they begin to pull out of the wall. Within six months. And you can't close the doors to your youngest and oldest child's rooms without doing some really clever finagling.

And it might bug you a little. You might be tempted to tell your seven year old 'if you didn't slam  shut it so firmly it might not be giving you this problem'. You might even wonder about the person who installed the doors in not very nice ways.

And days, weeks and months might pass. And everyone gets more frustrated, until finally your husband calls someone - the one who installed them - to see about getting this problem fixed. And the person comes graciously and fixes them. In less than 20 minutes.

So did the job take 18 months or 20 minutes of your life?

But I know you've never done anything like that.

Lessons from a Flooded Basement - 2

Our basement flooded this spring. The day that Marc left for four days. The day that we started two weeks of standardized tests for homeschool. Flooded. We've had dampness before, a little bit of water. But these were small lakes.

I'm determined to not miss the lessons that that this experience is continuing to teach me. It is costing too much emotionally and financially to not get some squeezed benefit. Over the next few months, this will be an occasional (and my very first) blog series: Lessons from a Flooded Basement.

We have options in these unexpected life crises. We can cry. We can deny. OR, we can blog. 

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There is little in a flooded basement to be thankful for. You really have to dig to find it. Or maybe it is more correct to say you have to dig really deep to feel it. Within hours of each revelation of how bad this flood and basement mess was becoming I was able to THINK of why I could be thankful. I am still not able to FEEL thankful.

I FEEL disappointed, angry, tired, sickofthishouse. I FEEL put out. I FEEL afraid of the time and money this might take from other projects I had appointed for this spring and summer. I FEEL betrayed.

But I THINK about how if this had happened in any of the 7 years we lived here before this, there is a good chance it would have been an extreme financial disaster, not a financial inconvenience.  I THINK about the amazing people that I never knew before that have been in my home and have been kind, compassionate, and helpful. I THINK about how much safer (and sell-able) this crisis is making our home. I THINK about how I have become stronger (and tireder - but stronger) I have had to become.

Lesson 2 from a flooded basement - THANKFULNESS ISN'T ALWAYS A FEELING. In fact, THANFKULNESS CAN BE AN EXHAUSTING WORKOUT - one you might not see (or feel) the benefit of for a long time.

On the Go!

When I look at my May and June 2012 photo files, I understand why my blog has not been getting the attention I thought it would once school 'ended' for us this year. In a normal month, I take between 100 and 200 pictures. May and June together have 1000 photos. And there aren't a whole lot of duplicate poses in the same place.

We have been busy taking trips into Boston to "be with Marc where he is consulting" and to explore all the history and life of the city. AND we have been on the run making sure that we (me, mostly) don't get to September with a list of "I wish we had done 'this' or 'that' more" while we are home in Maine.

My Favorite Kind of Picture

This is my favorite kind of picture to take of the kids. Their backs turned, a little ways ahead of me, making there own observations. If you look through my pictures over the years, you will see a lot of pictures of my kids walking ahead of me, and often choosing a path.

I love it because I think this is the best way to describe what I believe my job description as a parent is.... to create independent and thoughtful kids, eager to make their own path and mark in life, but not in such a way that they are alone - after all, I am right there with a camera to capture the image and hear what they have to say or ask.

(This was on the bridge at the Boston Public Garden.)

A Visit with Mrs. Mallard

I love the Boston Public Garden. It almost feels like stepping into a story book when you walk through the gates. The noise and bustle of Boston surround the park on all four sides. The paths of the garden are unaffected by all that is going on around it. A quiet and beautiful space not only surrounds but penetrates visitors. 

One of my favorite corners is the tribute to Mrs. Mallard and her family. This past week was the first time the kids had met the family they have heard about all their lives. After the obligatory pictures, we just sat and watched as other kids - of all ages - paid tribute to this web-footed family.

One thing that every family paused to remember was the names of the ducklings. It was a universal experience - where did the names start? Oh yes, J. Jack. And then carefully working through the alphabet and the names of all the little ducklings. Jack, Kack, Lack, Mack, Nack, Oack, Pack, and Quack. 

Incidentally, I noticed that most mothers use their fingers as they work through the alphabetic names, as though they were counting. Myself included.

If you start to make a book list....

Do you remember those books "If You Give a Pig a Pancake" or "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" or "If you Give a Mouse a Muffin"? I think there are more, but those are the ones my kids had. I had one of those days last Friday. 


It started with my makings lists of all the books we had read for homeschool this past year. 

I had to put some books away, so I had to move some other books to make room.

Those books had to go on a shelf that (BADLY) needed to be dusted.

When I dusted,  I realized we had a lot of books that we really didn't need to keep any longer.

So I made a donation pile.

And then I decided to look through ALL the books in our living room.

And I found some of the books that I used to read to the kids when they were way little.

And then I sat there and was full of memories and warm feelings.

All because I began to make a list.

(It was a good day.)

Summer Win

BOOKS

For the first time since I started homeschooling 10 years ago, I have all my major planning done for the fall NOW. In June. Before summer kicks into full gear. I can't tell you how excited this makes me (or the rest of the family, I think).

This past year was the first year that I didn't buy a curriculum as my foundation. Every other year, I have bought a 'core package' from Sonlight. (I love Sonlight. That is all I will say about that right now.)

This past year, there were several things that led to not buying a curriculum.

• Caleb wanted to really dig into Ancient History. We homeschool so that we can say 'yes' to those interests. So I pulled together history and readers for the basis of his year. 
• I wanted to try to do some pieces with some of the kids together. I thought Science might be the best spot for this (the kids are in very different places - 7th, 4th, and 1st grades). I bought the recommended books for one of the Science programs from Sonlight, and planned different levels of work from each of the kids. 
• Sofia went to public school for kindergarten, missing some of my very favorite Sonlight books for that level. So I combined the books I had from K and 1st grade for her. 

I spent all last summer planning, studying, drawing diagrams and lists on paper and on my computer. I really like logistic work like that.... but it left me exhausted at the beginning of the school year. So this spring, I decided I was going to make my plans, decisions, and purchases BEFORE school got 'done'. (We continue at least Math during the summer, and keep track of the reading and field trips that we take as well.)

An unexpected bonus to my determination has me hooked on this new rhythm. Summer reading. All of the reading that Caleb will enjoy this coming year.... it's mine, all mine (insert maniacal laugh). And honestly, you should be jealous. 

If you want some good reading lists, here is a link to Caleb's 8th grade Readers.  Or maybe you would enjoy Anna's 5th grade Readers.  (Those lists don't include the fabulous read-a-loud lists for each of the kids. Poke around on Sonlight's site. You'll understand.)

*** I had no idea this would become an "I love Sonlight" post. Well, we do. And it did. It has been one of the greatest gifts to our family that we found Sonlight when we began homeschooling. 

And We Have Babies

Sunflowers 2012

Lessons from a Flooded Basement - 1

Our basement flooded two weeks ago. The day that Marc left for four days. The day that we started two weeks of standardized tests for homeschool. Flooded. We've had dampness before, a little bit of water. But these were small lakes.

I'm determined to not miss the lessons that that this experience is continuing to teach me. It is costing too much emotionally and financially to not get some squeezed benefit. Over the next few months, this will be an occasional (and my very first) blog series: Lessons from a Flooded Basement.

We have options in these unexpected life crises. We can cry. We can deny. OR, we can blog. 

Lesson #1- It didn't look THAT bad - or SOMETIMES my perspective isn't enough

My first step of action on flood day was to email Marc. "There is water in the basement. I am going to ignore it until tomorrow." Based on our previous small amounts of wet in the basement, and based on the fact that I just peaked into the dark and didn't do a thorough exploration, this made sense.

My second step was to buy a shopvac - surely a 5 gallon one would be plenty (200 hundred gallons later, I'm not so sure). I vacuumed the water in small bits of time, determined to help the kids and I have as normal a week as we could without Marc at home.

The third step was to call the plumber and ask him to see if we could get the sump pump to work (it has never worked in our 7 years of living here - and it has been okay).

(This used to be a laminate
wood floor .)

By Wednesday, most of the water was not visible. I could hear it under the floating floor in some places, but it was under control.

Friday the plumber came. After a quick look at things my new superhero said 'you need to find out if you have an insurance rider for this'. Marc (home now, thank God), called insurance. Yes, we had purchased a rider. In the next thirty minutes the disaster cleanup company was at our house pulling up the floating floor and assessing the damage.

All weekend fans, dehumidifiers, and filters have run in the basement. The bottom foot of all the walls has been cut away. Everything in the basement was on foam blocks.

I had NO IDEA. No. idea. It was so wet. There was so much under the level that I couldn't see.

I needed to get someone who (1) wasn't me or married to me and (2) who knows water and basements to tell me that this was a big deal and it needed immediate and radical attention.

I'm learning this in life, too. 

When I look at life through my lens or by myself - maybe it's not the most accurate picture. The person who may have the most important feedback might be the most expected or unexpected individual. If I don't invite them into my life, and have my heart open to what people have to say, I am left only with my own blurry myopia.

Letting my Roots Breathe

Friday afternoon. The car is getting some quick work done, and I have escaped from the house to the teahouse to settle myself for the weekend. It has been a crazy couple of weeks with standardized testing and basement flooding/asbestos fiascos. The kids and I are tired.

All week, I've started my days with imagining/planning which part of the day had time for me to write. Each day other things have filled that time. I know about time management and priorities – I DO. I know about giving the important more value than the urgent. I know about setting boundaries. And I'm actually quite good at them and the kids have grown to respect my quiet space and times.

But there are some urgent things you can't put off. I remember the season of diapers and nursings. At least those 'urgents' were attached to 'importants'. I feel like our life is full of new 'urgents' that I haven't quite connected to 'importants' – but there must be a connection, because these things have an incredible impact on how I feel and how I operate.

I'm in a new season of What is Important. The last time I did some serious work on a 'mission statement' was when Anna was an infant. She'll be 10 in May. Part of that is because I really like what I wrote. I wrote it to have longevity. (As I look at a new mission -quest- statement, I'm determined to not study that old statement until I have a fresh 2012 perspective.)

I don't do a lot with potting plants,
so I'll include one of my sunflower pictures from
summers past. 

Beyond all the big important questions of life as I get closer and closer to 40, what matters most is an hour in a teashop as I end the week/start the weekend. Surrounded by comfort, smell, sound – that frankly isn't me, my kids, my home. 

It's a bit like repotting a plant – only putting it back in the same pot after letting it's roots have time to breathe.