Sunday, January 29, 2006

I preached today. It's the second time since we moved to Waterville that I have preached. It is so tempting to put myself on a dissection tray eight hours after the fact. I want to listen to the sermon, and hear how I did, but I don't. You know. It's like a new recipe. It looks really good in the picture, and the ingredients sound tasty... but how is it really going to come across... do you serve it to family first or go straight for the guest.

I felt good about it, and got positive feedback. But I don't want to get addicted to positive feedback, or go seeking after it. I want to do this church thing as an offering of my life... like Brother Lawrence doing the dishes. God help me to do whatever dishes you put on my path with a heart serving you.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

"When I grow up into myself..." That was how Anna started a sentence today when she was talking to me. I have no idea what the rest of the sentence was about, because I was so fascinated with the language of the first part of the sentence.

Isn't that cool? She knows that there is something for her to grow up into ... herself. Not a princess or a superhero or a mommy even, but herself.

I think I'll start working in that direction, too. Instead of growing up into all these roles and to-do's that I carry around, I think I'll begin growing up into myself.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

For his birthday, the kids and I got Marc "Welcome to Diverse City" Tobymac. I wondered why Marc never listened to it in the house, but instead took it out to the car and kept it with him out there. When I borrowed his car to go to KMart and Walmart (kid-free) last week, the cd was cued, and I was one very blessed wife.

I never really listened to DCTalk, or any rap artist. So I had no idea what was on the album. Once I got over the initial shock, I decided that I did like the album for in the car. It's a great travel album. But as far as having it the house, well, I guess I'm glad that he had the sense not to play it in here. With three young, excitable kids, and a mom whose nerves are raw much of the time, it is a good thing to not have the Toby Mac cd in the house.

There is one song on the album that Toby Mac's son does (TruDog: The Return...) it is totally cute and catchy. Caleb especially loves it. So everytime we are in the van (yes, the cd has moved from Marc's car to mine), we listen to #7 on album. We can actually almost do the whole thing as a family on our own.

I actually have been encouraging the kids enjoyment of the album today, intiating our listening to track 7 over and over again. Today, it hit me, though. I'm teaching my kids to love this stuff. Am I prepared for the consequences? Because surely it will be in their rooms before it is in their cars!

My favorite song on the album is #15 Gotta Go. I heard it on the way to kinship last week, and it sums up 2006 thus far.
"I gotta go, I'm 'bout to do a show
Can't take the stress wanna give you my best, Lord
I can't sing with this hanging over me
But the show must go on, Lord, set me free"

Oh, yes. Set us free.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Another thing that I was sure I would never do as a parent was become a frequenter of McDonald's. Well, we managed that until about a year ago. At that time we began travelling frequently around meal time, and so the Golden Arches and those stupid little toys became part of our universe.

Tonight the kids and I went to the Shrine of the Clown. Boy, does it boost a mom's esteem to become a hero so quickly. They were ready to throw a parade! Mom is great... she give's us chocolate cake. Mom is great. I can't wait for this toy to break!

Really, how did Mom's do it when they had to harvest or kill their food, plus get it ready to eat over a wood fire? Not to mention making their own clothes. I know that it is so much easier to do what mom's have done for centuries now. So, why is it so hard sometimes?

Until I come up with an answer that doesn't implicate me as a wimp, I'll just get my satisfaction in throwing out the Happy Meal toys when the parade is over.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

When Marc and I got married and especially when we began having children, there were many things on my list of things that I will never do. The list included using the tv as a babysitter, and never having a gaming system in our home.

I must admit. I was wrong.

Bless the experts who say the tv is bad for our kids... but let's see a study on how tv is good for Mom's! In all honesty, we have, with the exception of one year of satellite tv, kept the plug pulled on live television. But we have a killer collection of talking vegetables, bears, and dogs. And I have to say... thank you God for them. Sometimes it is just much better for the kids to sit zoned out in front of the tv than to have to deal with the emotional wrath of Mama.

Then there is the gaming system. I'm still not sure how it happened, but now we have a PS2, and we all (including me) have logged some serious hours of play. I realized the other day when Marc and I were praying, and we both began to use Lego Starwars to describe what was going on, that my life has been changed dramatically.

Perhaps I should go back and pull out my list of all knowing convictions that I made with each pregnancy, and see what I'm going to get to do next.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

This blog has been in the beginning stages for five months now. How many times can you change your template? Why no posts until now? Perfectionism. I think about blogging often... just like I think about dusting. But then I quickly fill my plate with expectations of perfection followed with a second plate of fear of disappointing.... others, others expecations and preconceived notions, myself.

So let me begin my public blog experience by saying that this will be imperfect writing, inconsistent writing, sometimes irreverant writing, and if you think I'm doing it for anyone but myself, you are mistaken. I do hope that some will enjoy whatever I end up writing about. But I am not writing a family history. I am not writing a treatise on parenting or homeschooling. I am not writing about how to survive your first year as a church planter, or how to be a better wife to an extraverted extravert. Although, I'm sure all of this will come up.

I am making the fifteen minutes to post my first blog today because of two friends, mainly, and my ever faithful husband. Thanks for starting your own blog, Elisa. When I grow up I want to be like you. Robbi, when we were talking about roles last night, 'writer' was the last thing on my mind. When you described me that way, you simulataneously took the wind from my sails, and filled them up with fresh air. Marc, you've been telling me that this is part of me for as long as I've known. If everyone could have even just one of one you three friends in their lives.... gutsy, freedom, vision, color.