I've loosened my guitar strings.
My guitar hangs beautifully on the wall in my bedroom... a beautiful natural brown next to my pale purple, gray 'peace' colored walls. It hangs on the wall in such a way that it is one of the first things I see as I wake up each morning.
This is the second guitar that I have owned in 15 years. Before teaching myself guitar, I played the flute for 10 years. My life has almost always had music on in the background. I've been involved in bands and orchestras, camp-fire sing-alongs, and leading worship in small groups and most recently in front of our small church.
I love music.
The thing is, I seem to love a lot of things these days. Well, honestly, not just these days, but for a long time. If I see something that I know I can do, I tend to pick it up and try it. And I tend to do it well enough to convince myself that I can do more and more of it. And I enjoy it. It gives me enjoyment, relaxation, joy.
It seems that I've come to a season in my life where all these interests seem to be splintered pieces of me rather than a wholistic quilt of me. And I've begun to set some other specific goals that simply require time. Time that has to be found somewhere. So, I'm working on simplifying my hobbies. Putting things aside or away for at least the time being.
And so I've loosened the strings on my guitar. I am grieving. I trust that God will grow me and heal me during this separation, and perhaps re-ignite my musical involvement (call?).
May we rest.... in peace.
3 comments:
I loved this. I love the way you write. I want to be like you when I grow up.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way "It seems that I've come to a season in my life where all these interests seem to be splintered pieces of me rather than a wholistic quilt of me. And I've begun to set some other specific goals that simply require time. Time that has to be found somewhere. So, I'm working on simplifying my hobbies."
I loved the image of a quilt. I want to be a quilt. A soft, cozy, crazy quilt preferable but a whole quilt nonetheless.
I'm thinking about these words of yours and how they apply to my own life.
I really relate to this. I haven't yet loosened my guitar strings, but I probably SHOULD, because I have not played my guitar for a long, long time. The piano, also, gets very little action except when my 5-year-old gets her piano lesson. Can I still be a musician, I hope? :)
This is so good. I finally packed up my music teaching stuff, and put it in a bin in the basement. If I ever become focused on teaching music again, I will probably need a refresher myself, as my classical skills are getting rusty. But my season now is about writing music, for theater and for recording... and a homeschooling mama can only do so many things at once! God has provided for me to not have to teach to earn money right now, and besides... I still want to finish that quilt I started two years ago! So I am thinking about "ok, what else has to go, for now?"
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